So I recently found this odd little site called Omegle. It's like a chat interface, but you are basically just hooked-up to a totally random (and completely anonymous) stranger to chat to. That's it.
So far, so boring. But I noticed that the banner on the site said "Omegle - Talk To Strangers!". And I thought it might be amusing to mis-read this instruction as "Talk To Stranglers". So I've been striking up strangling-related conversations with random members of the world and seeing where they've led to. I have one rule: Keep going until the Strangler disconnects.
Here's one of them ("You" is, erm, Me. "Stranger" is the other person):
Connecting to server...You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!You: Hi. Are you a strangler?Stranger: Strangler?You: Yes.Stranger: Are you?Stranger: I dont have to strangle to kill :PYou: No. That is why I am here, looking for one.You: I don't want someone to kill.Stranger: No problemStranger: Where are you based?You: In Wales. Where are you?Stranger: Ausi?Stranger: indaiStranger: IndiaStranger: Oops England?You: I have heard of India. I think. It is near Africa?Stranger: NoYou: Yes. Wales is a town in England. Near Northampton.Stranger: GoodYou: Is India near Bombay?Stranger: You know Bombay?You: I used to. Then it became Mumbai and it's not as good as it was before.Stranger: Bombay is IN IndiaYou: Like Veet, or Starburst.You: Ah. Sorry for confusion.You: ...Or CifStranger: Cif?You: Yes. Cif. Which used to be called "Jif". It was much better at cleaning floors before.Stranger: hmmmYou: Lots of towns in India have changed their names. Why is that?Stranger: When British were here they changed namesStranger: We are now changing them backYou: Ah. OK. I am British you know.Stranger: YeahYou: I hope you don't think I changed your towns?Stranger: But I dont think you were here when British were here :PYou: No. I was in bed.You: Hiding.You: Which part of India are you from?Stranger: DelhiYou: Ah. Delhi. Is that the same as New Delhi? Or is it the old Delhi?Stranger: I am in what is called DelhiStranger: There is a New Delhi as wellYou: In Britain we call it दिल्लीStranger: YeahYou: We have always called it that here. Since Roman times.Stranger: Were you alive then?Stranger: Till you met the strangler?Stranger: :DYou: Don't be silly! That would make me over 70 years old!Stranger: ha haYou: I'm talking about Roman Polanski, the movie director, who lived in Wales for some time.You: Tell me an interesting fact about Delhi. And I will tell you one about Wales in return.You: Then you can amaze your friends.Stranger: hmmmStranger: I will have to think really hardStranger: :PYou: OK. I have 18 minutes to wait.Stranger: What after thatStranger: ?Stranger: Battery would run out?You: No.You: Medication time.You: OK - here is my fact about Wales.You: In Wales there are FIVE different cinemas, but they all show the same films.You: 16 minutes left...You: How long have you been in Delhi?Stranger: There have been no new releases in Delhi for last month or soYou: That is a damn-fool crying shame, as we say here.You: Can you send me some spicy sausage and strong goat cheese?Stranger: SureYou: Good. Put it on your computer and press 'send'.Stranger: I just couriered it to youStranger: Did not think of the computer routeYou: Ah - but I think you are toying with me, mr cheeky monkey. You do not know my address, or my FedEx customer number. So how does that work?You: I think you are trying to con me out of my money.Stranger: lolYou: 12 minutes to go.Stranger: Damn I did not get any moneyYou: I demand to know an interesting fact about Delhi. I have given you Wales fact.You: Now I am one fact down in the deal.You: If I don't get my Delhi fact soon, I will complan to the Ombudsman.You: *complainYou: On the other hand, maybe the ombudsman would like some complan - if he's on a diet. Do they still sell it? Can you get Complan in Delhi? That would be an interesting fact!You: Hello? Mr Cheeky Monkey? Are you still there?You: I'm starting to think you aren't really in Delhi. I'm going now.You: ByeYou: Bye-byeYou: See ya!You: Ta-raStranger: YeahStranger: Complan is something you will find in DelhiStranger: For sureYou: ArrividerciYou: sayonaraStranger: Au RevoirYou: hasta la vistaYour conversational partner has disconnected.