Monday, 16 April 2007


To the dentist today to have a filling. It seems that one of my old ones had deteriorated and needed replacing.

I'm glad that I can now go to the dentist without too much terror and pain (although now the local anaesthetic has worn off, my gum/jaw is very sore where he stuck the needle in).

Until around 8 years ago, I'd avoided going to the dentist for a long time. Around 16 years, I reckon.

Our childhood dentist was a sadist. I know that some people think that they had bad dental experiences when they were kids, but unless they went to the Stepgates clinic in Chertsey in the late-70s/early-80s then I'm inclined not to believe them.

[Legal note: I should probably stress here that I'm sure the current dentist at Stepgates is very professional and pain-free. Thank you!]

Back then, the sadistic bitch used to drill out cavities and fill our teeth without any anaesthetic. It's the sort of thing they did in Victorian times, before petticoated ladies threw themselves under the King's horse during the Derby to give us the right to pain-free dentistry.

I remember that other kids at school didn't used to believe me: people still don't believe me. Most people of my generation don't like dentists because they didn't like the discomfort of the injection. Hah! That glorious, numbing balm is soothing compared with the option of having high-speed, diamond-tipped, steel drills buried deep into a molar nerve!

Madame Vlad Dracul (I think that was her name) took a revolutionary approach to pain-relief. When I complained of a slight twinge (as she jabbed an aluminium javelin into my caries) she would twist my arm, giving me a chinese burn, and tell me "if you would only relax, it won't hurt". The stupid, fetid witch.

I don't remember if we ever told our parents what a sadistic cow this dentist was. I'm sure my sister will vouch that I'm not imagining it.

All I know is that if I was to meet her now, I'd twist her ear and punch her in the face and if she yelled out in pain I'd tell her that she obviously wasn't relaxed enough.


jomoore said...

You'd twist my ear and punch me in the face?? Oh - you mean the dentist!

Yes indeedy, I can vouch for the fact that I was left emotionally scarred by my childhood dental experiences. I only left it 12 years before going back, and then I only did it because they wouldn't take Thomas on their books unless I registered too. But I'm pleased to report that my dentist now is just wonderful and all my fears have gone the way of spit in a funny little round basin.

Delmonti said...

It must be an age thing. My dentist was an ex miner with arms like popeye from all the teeth pulling he'd do.

Trivia: It was common in my Dads era to have all ya teeth pulled.... even if they were in good order. If ya family had money you'd get this as a 21st birthday present.

chux said...

mine was a one-eyed irishman! He too thought it was acceptable to drill and pull teeth without a jab. I was the same about dentists too for many years. What makes me laugh when people wont have the injections because they dont like pain! They obviously havent had a deep filling done without it.

mate just a note.. your drama stuff is kicking off well by the looks of it. You seem to have more energy than ever, i'm knackered with just reading it. Does your wife actually see you anymore dude?

PT said...

Wife? Do you mean the woman who cooks the dinner and then feeds it to the dog before I get in from the pub... ?