Monday 21 April 2008

Lost Coat

Presented for your delectation, an email that was sent around our office this morning:
We seem to have a coat that's been left in [location deleted] on the coat hook. I wondered if anyone has lost one? It's a long female coat.
Two things immediately spring to mind:

1. A female coat? I had no idea that coats had gender. How do you tell if a coat is male or female? If you leave a male and female coat on the same hook, do they breed? Would you end up with a closet full of little jackets?

2. The fact that the coat has been left "on the coat hook" suggests that it's not so much "lost" as "left in a safe place for later collection". If the lady who sent the email walks around our office she will see many "lost" coats, hanging on coat racks, waiting to be found by their owners who are sitting, working - some of them over 12 feet away...

If it's not claimed within 3 days it should be sacrificed to the God of Lost Outdoor-wear: Quetzlcoatl.

3 comments:

Delmonti said...

Hmmm. people should always spay/neuter their coats within the first 3 weeks of ownership. Also have them electronically tagged, it's expensive but if lost in a park or even temporarily re-classified as goal posts and forgotten they can be returned to their right-full owners instead of ending up unloved and stinking of urine wrapped around a tramps nadgers.

jomoore said...

Apparently I have whole cupboards full of lost items of clothing, mostly female. They're just hanging there... At least most of them can comfort each other (those with sleeves, anyway), as long as it doesn't lead to anything else, of course...

MaryB said...

Just make sure no one puts a male coat on the same hook. That causes a whole bunch of children coats, which only leads to coat-over-population, and well, you know where THAT leads . . .

On another matter, Ottershaw Players got anything going on July 18? I'm available for attentive-audience-member-duty that night, if you like. :-0