Avarice?

Getting married is great.

For one thing, if you're of the female persuasion, you get to change your name. Fantastic! I know lots of ladies don't hold with such old-fashioned matters nowadays, but I think it's great. I'm a bloke and if I wanted to change my name it would be a pain in the arse.

"From now on my name is Mr Eastwood," I would say. "Piss off!" would, I imagine, be the reply. But women can become Mrs. Eastwood at any time they like, simply by marrying a Mr Eastwood. It's so unfair!

The other thing that makes getting married great is getting presents. Or, in our case, getting money, because we don't need more "stuff" but we do need dosh so we can buy a modest house somewhere.

Personally, I feel a little guilty about asking for money, although not too much as it's done more and more nowadays, and why shouldn't people be encouraged to give a gift that would be really useful. But I also have a twinge of guilt because this is the 2nd time that I have received wedding gifts from people. Although, when I mention this guilt I am told not to be such a twat, so perhaps I'm just torturing myself over nothing. And at least I'm not a complete greedy guts like Elizabeth Taylor or Mickey Rooney. Selfish bastards!

So, thank you to the following people who have all contributed to our wedding house-deposit fund. You will truly find your reward in heaven. Or you may get a brick with your name on it. Cheers!

Bill & Gill Gresham
Everyone at work
Paul & Theresa Bungard
David Dawson
Bev & Les Lindfield
Nan
Kate & Ian
Becky & Kevin
Dave & Sue Bundock
Matt & Kathy Foster
Graham & Carol Botterill
Auntie Lillian
Julia and Kevin
Julie Jonklaas
Danny & David Sparkes
Brenda Midwinter
Julian Rolls
Nick Blake
Pam & Malcolm