Thursday, 26 July 2007

Death Cat For Cutie

You Looking At Me? There's this cat in Rhoda Island, USA, which can apparently predict when nursing home patients are about to die. [It lives in Providence - which is incredibly ironic, don't you think?]

"Predict"? Or are the nursing home staff just taking their eyes off the ball? I reckon 'cute' little Oscar just waits until no-one is paying attention, then curls up on the face of his latest victim, smothering them to death.
It's the purr-fect crime. Everyone's expecting the person to die anyway, so Oscar just helps the process along a little. It's a mercy kitten.

You can bet that if 25 patients died within 2 hours of being visited by a particular nurse or orderly, the local sheriff would soon be taking them into custody for questioning.

I find it ironic that Harold Shipman is in prison for killing all those old people, yet his faithful golden retriever, Kervorkian, is running free, eating his fill of Pedigree Chum and chicken-flavoured biscuits.

Tigger 'Hotwire' JohnsonEdit: And now I read that another one of the wannabe-tiger scum has been caught in the act trying to steal a car! I publish his picture here so that you can turn him in to the car police if he tries to rob you too.


Delmonti said...

Most cats like to curl up where it's warm..... this cat must be geiing quite pissed off at its inability to pick a constant source of warmth.

Delmonti said...

About the Cat in the engine bay of a blokes car:

"Mr Gallacher, 61, of Bucksburn, Aberdeen, had been driving for several miles across the city in his Rover 400 when he became aware of an unusual noise."

Now, I've had the displeasure of being in the vacinity of several Rover 400's and they all make a bleedin racket. I've also been to Aberdeen, no wonder the cat took refuge.

MaryB said...

Which is why I have a dog.