Apparently CERN will soon be switching on their Large Hardon Collider, in an effort to investigate conditions a billionth of a second after the Big Bang.
I'm at a loss as to how knocking hard-ons together will tell us anything about the early universe. I'm sure it's a pleasurable activity for chaps of a gay persuasion (and maybe others), but surely has little to do with particle physics.
Some people have suggested that the machine might cause a black hole to come into being which will suck the universe into oblivion. I can't see that happening, unless it's just some sort of innuendo.
So, assuming that the LHC does involve men banging their tent pegs together, perhaps someone could suggest what CERN stands for?