Silver Surfer?

Recent events have reminded me that I'm not a youngster any more:

An ex-girlfriend's mother recently died. Delmonti needs a hip replacement. [Jesus, Dave - my Nan only had her hips replaced a few years ago and she's about 200.] I went out for a 3 mile ride on my push-bike on Saturday and now my right leg doesn't work...

We've just won the Ashes for the first time since 1987. Commentators keep talking about the number of cricket fans and players who would be unable to remember the last time we won it. Hell, I remember the one we won 24 years ago! Willis and Beefy at Headingly.

A colleague at work has been advised, by his optician, to get bifocals. Bifocals? They're for old professors in a Cambridge tutorial room, dribbling on their slippers, not for young, virile IT professionals. Even if we do work with Oracle databases.

Like everyone over 20, I still feel 20-years old inside. But I can't understand why my 20-year old body is having old-age aches and pains.

The days of partying all night before going to work/college for the day, then drinking in the bar all the next night were surely only a few weeks ago, weren't they? What do you mean it was 20 years ago? How dare you have a child who's starting college next week?

Nowadays I can only drink 3 pints before I'm wrecked. The hangover starts before I even leave the pub. I'd rather be at home watching the telly with my slippers on than out with my mates sometimes.

God. What's it going to be like when I'm forty?