"Go..."

"...And never darken my towels again" - Groucho Marx.

My Dad got me an Insult-A-Day calendar for Christmas. I thought it was going to be fantastic. A new word each day to use to insult some of my more cerebrally-challenged moog-like colleagues. Words like "twunt", "munger" and "spoon".

Instead it's full of witty epithets from the likes of Groucho, Dorothy Parker, WC Fields and Henry Youngman (who?).

Some of the insults though are crap. Not ineffectual or vapid. Just crap.

The worst I've come across was yesterday's. Not only was it rubbish as an insult, it could also be taken as a huge compliment. Which is a bit bad when you're trying to insult someone. Here it is now:

What can I say about Hilary Clinton? She is as honest as the day is long... in Antarctica!
-- Joan Rivers

Obviously the joke depends on knowing that the days in Antarctica are very short during the southern hemisphere winter. But during the summer, the days are very long indeed. So it doesn't work as an insult. It's rubbish.

You know - thinking about it, I'm quite concerned that I got so worked up about this. But it's got me back into the blogging saddle after a couple of weeks of inaction.