Blogmeet

I don't think of myself as a blogger. Obviously, I do blog. Once in a while. Though recently it's become once in a week.

But I'm not one of those people who are driven to get something down at least once a day. Sometimes more often.

People like Diamond Geezer. For me, he's the king of bloggers. He has a subject that he (usually) confines himself to. He writes reams of witty, interesting prose, packed with so many links that to visit them all would mean that none of us would get any real work done, ever.

No, I'm not a real blogger.

And, as such, I would never expect to go to a Blog-Meet and swap blogging stories with like-minded bloggers.

So you could knock me down with a feather when I realised that that's exactly what I did yesterday.

OK, to be fair, it was really me and my Lovely Young Wife, plus my sis and her son, Thomas, who were meeting Shorty PJs' MaryB for lunch at the 'delightful' Italian restaurant in Weybridge.

Life stories were swapped, work tales were told and blogging was barely mentioned. It wasn't a blogmeet - only 60% of those present have ever blogged. So I think I've escaped without having to define myself as a blogger - yet... Phew!

Here's MaryB and Jo (in that order) swapping fishing stories!

Arse Gratia Artis

Ooh! $90m knocked off the value of a painting, just like that.

I must say, I know how Steve Wynn must have felt - just not on such a large scale.

When I was about 6 or 7 I accidentally knocked over a vase. The vase was on our TV and the water went down the back of the set. The resulting BANG and plumes of smoke meant no TV for the family for a day or two. And, presumably, no TV for me for a couple of weeks!

Okay, so our TV wasn't a work of art.

So, assuming that Mr Wynn decided to have a career change from Las Vegas property developer to freelance art destroyer, what single work of art would you want him to annihilate?

A Pain In The Arm

I once met a phlebotomist who used to have to perform venipuncture on Mick Jagger.

He said it was like getting blood out of a stone.

Desert Island Dicks

Five people named Richard who I'd happily tolerate on my desert island:

• Richard Feynmann - genius. If he was still alive.
• Richard McKenzie - councillor and old chum. Guaranteed to keep order.
• Dick Barton - Special Agent.
• Rich Hall - funny guy.
• Moby Dick - we either hang on to his tail and he swims us to safety, or we could cook him and eat him.

Who would your Desert Island Dicks be?

Cracking Cheese, Gromit.

Things to do on a Summer Holiday in Wensleydale

1. Rent a lovely little cottage in the gorgeous viilage of Middleham. It's the home of lots of prestigious racing stables so you see many racehorses and those tiny, wee people who ride about on them.

2. Don't go when it's going to rain for a week. It's fantastic countryside, but it would be improved by being dry.

3. Do make sure you go in mid-August so you can see the Kettlewell Scarecrow Festival. We stumbled upon it by accident while driving around and wish we'd had time to stop and take a look at all the superb scarecrow scenes.

4. Don't run out of money only 2 days into your week. It makes it difficult to do anything and the plans for eating in all the posh local restaurants were somewhat scuppered. Not to mention the fear of running out of petrol and being stranded in North Yorkshire.

5. Take your camera. There's lots to see. Middleham Castle was fantastic, as was Bolton Castle. And Fountains Abbey. I'm sure there's more we could have seen but for the weather and the lack of cash.

6. Try the beer. Nearby Masham is home to the Theakstons and Black Sheep Breweries. Tasty!

7. Try the food. A trip to Betty's Tea Rooms in Harrogate is a must, especially for their Yorkshire curd tart. Luvverly. And there are some fantastic restaurants all over North Yorkshire. They're not as cheap as you'd expect though!

8. Walking boots. And a map. Take them and use them - you'll find some fantastic hidden places.

Separated After Birth...

Young scamp Chux recently pointed out the similarity between tap-dancing, skinny, grinning Lionel Blair and antique, perma-bronzed, grinning David Dickinson.

They do appear to be rather similar:


Blair


Dickinson


If only a TV executive could combine the two on their most popular shows. Give Us A Clue and Bargain Hunt rolled into one: C-list celebrities would have to mime a clue describing an antique object d'art and its estimated auction price within a strict time limit.

Imagine the scene as Lionel and David both struggle to pull-off Michaelangelo, with their hands alone, in under 2 minutes...