Now look at this story:
This is disturbing on many levels: that an infant can be granted a gun license, even though "Illinois gun laws are said to be among the strictest in the US", is just the tip of the iceberg.
In fact, kudos to the kid's father for following the legal niceties and ensuring that the kid won't actaully get to play with his weapon until he's 14 [snigger!].
No. The really disturbing, nay, horrifying, fact in this story is this:
The kid is called "Bubba".
I had always assumed that "Bubba" was a nickname, endemic to a certain strata of American society, and granted only to those men who have demonstrated that they deserve the moniker.
In my mind, this is how the "Bubba test" works:
First, you have to be born in the South somewhere. My knowledge of US geography is poor, but I do know that Illinois is not famous for mint juleps, crinolene dresses and lynchings.
Next, I reckon you need to have spent at least half your childhood bunking-off school to drive around in a battered blue pickup truck, knocking over mailboxes with your baseball bat. Unless you're the driver; in which case you get to drive along with a beer in your hand, another between your legs and a third in your hat. The hat, of course, has a curly transparent straw which allows you to drink the beer like a caged hamster.
Finally, after a night spent cow-tipping you fail your high-school exams and end up as a janitor in a pool hall.
Only then have you earned the right to call yourself "Bubba".
Of course, I could be wrong about all this. Perhaps it's a name with a long and distinguished history:
Abraham "Bubba" Lincoln.
Benjamin "Bubba" Franklin.
Martin Luther "Bubba" King Jr.
The truth is out there...