Goodbyeeeee!

It's my last day in my current job today.

I feel like going to the pub right NOW! But I've got to do a presentation at 3pm for my erstwhile colleagues. They think it's going to be about Oracle database tuning.

Instead I think I'll do a slideshow about The Merry Wives of Windsor instead!

About this point in a blog would be the usual place to review the last 4.75 years of employment. Note down the good times and the bad. Trumpet my achievements.

But I don't really feel I've achieved anything, workwise, in all that time.

A lack of training; no support from management; risible pay reviews; staff morale through the floor; appalling staff appraisal system (what system?); permanently short-staffed teams with too much work (the good teams anyway) - the teams that do a piss-poor job seem to have plenty of time on their hands and loads of staff to while it away. Why is that?

Anyway, enough of my moaning. I've been telling my bosses all this for the past year or so and it doesn't seem to have made a farthing's difference.

So, I'm off.

To a job with better prospects; where I'm directly responsible to the customers I support; with far fewer databases to support; in a more stable environment; with decent training; and the chance to learn genuine new skills.

Oh, and the commute is a lot easier - even after we move house.

And they are going to pay me quite a bit more money too.


I'ts not the 'dream' job that I was wishing for here a while ago - it's still in the IT industry, so it couldn't possibly be - and that dream job really IS just a dream at present.

But I genuinely feel that it stands a chance of rekindling my enthusiasm. I'm looking forward to Monday morning...

I'm Cross Now

OK - so I haven't been around for a while and my Mum told me off for not blogging recently. I've been busy - I can't help it. I'm about to change jobs, so I've got to write down everything I know about my old one because they won't be able to cope without me.

[That's not arrogance - it's a plain fact: I'm going to steal the keys to all the filing cabinets and change all the database passwords without telling anyone!]

And we're sorting out our new house and I'm in pre-production on our new play.

So it's all been a bit hectic.

Anyway, tonight we get back from a lovely Chinese meal with Ma & Pa (a thank you for helping us with various household tasks today, plus another 40-odd years of parenting) and as we're walking home we notice the lovely clear skies so I decided to take some astro-photos with my shiny new camera.

All is going well and we keep noticing some lovely red stars. Are they stars? Or is it Mars? Let's look it up...

Only Mars is below the horizon at the moment. And when we look closer, the red 'star' is in exactly the same place on every single bloody picture! Which can only mean that my nice, shiny, new, expensive camera has a faulty pixel in the bloody sensor. Arse!

So along with all the other busy-ness, I now have to take it back to the shop and persuade them to swap it out for a new one...

Grrr...

Anyway - phantom star apart - I'm pretty happy with the pictures. Check out the one of Leo. I managed to catch a real planet on that one.

Pass On

He'd started, now he's finished...

It's All Happening

Time to expand on the brief note in my last post, which seems a long time ago now.

Yes, I've found a new job! I'll be working for one of the world's premier fruit and produce manufacturers and distributors. Not that I'll be doing anything fructous myself; I'll still be looking after databases.

But I'm sure that the chance to sample the odd peach segment may present itself.

So, it's more money for doing work that appears to be less arduous, but more interesting, and with the chance to expand my skillset into more report-writing. And it's only 5 miles from home, instead of 50. Fantastic!

So it's ironic that my other big piece of news is that it looks like we are buying a house in Aldershot. It's nowhere near as difficult to get to work from there as it is at present, but it won't be the "just around the corner" that I envisaged when I interviewed for the new job.

Fingers crossed that the mortgage application, surveys, conveyancing, etc, etc, all goes smoothly... Though the vendors have no chain and neither do we, so that bodes well.

Looks like January and Feburary are going to be pretty busy!

New Jobs for Old...

Alan Pardew was sacked from his job as West Ham manager yesterday morning.

Within hours I was offered a new job!

Coincidence?

Well, yes, it was a coincidence actually.

I have bitched and moaned about my job many times before. But, in 4-6 weeks I will be leaving to "pursue interests elsewhere" as they say.

I won't tell you who I'm going to work for. Let's just say they have an interest in fruit and Mr Dawson's online identity could be a big clue!

"I Heard A Rumour"

News from earlier this week that I missed before. Apparently Bananarama have staged a coup d'etat in Fiji.

I know they haven't had a hit for quite some time, but this is not an unprecedented way to get back in the headlines.

The last lightweight 80's pop group to take-over a country was Hue & Cry. The Kane brothers' attempt to establish a unitary, presidential, directly-elected government in Burkina Faso in 1987 was ultimately successful, though their "inside man" and puppet leader, Blaise Compaore, took the credit for the coup, and indeed is still president, ruling from Ouagadougou today.

As such, Hue & Cry did not make news headlines and are now remembered more for their hit "Labour of Love", which chronicled their African excursion.

More recently, of course, Amazulu and Strawberry Switchblade joined forces to bring peace to the previously war-torn Isle of Mull. When Anne-Marie Ruddock was elected as chieftan of the island for the 5th time last year she became the longest serving female head-of-state in modern history.

I Don't Know Much About Art...

...But I Know What I Like.

And it seems that in Norway they like their art so much that they are prepared to include strippers as 100% genuine artists (as opposed to artistes, I suppose).

I'm off out to the Doublemint Hippopotamus for an evening of art appreciation. Insert your own gags about Titian or brush strokes here.

Will They Never Learn?

So, NASA are going to build a moon base.

Do they not remember what happened back in 1999 to the last moon base?

It'll all end in tears...

Mark Owen Loses Temper in Dramatic Tram Breakdown

Good day to you!

In an exciting, suspenseful and dramatic ceremony, conducted this afternoon by Kathleen, Pele and Terry Wogan, we have finally decided the allocations in the Moore family's Not-So-Secret-Santa extravaganza 2006.

I know that you've all been waiting for this news for some weeks now, so with no further ado we'll get down to the announcement...

But first, here to entertain us with a song from their latest album - it's Take That!

Wow! Wasn't that great! Thanks to Howard, Jason and Gary for coming along this evening. We're sorry that Mark was unable to make it, but his tram broke down somewhere just outside Croydon.

So, now it's time for the announcement. Jordan - can I have the envelope please...?

Jo will be buying a present for Kathleen.
Dad will be buying a present for Mum.
Pete will be buying a present for Dad.
Mum will be buying a present for Pete.
Kathleen will be buying a present for Jo.

And that concludes this evening's entertainment. Join us again next time when you could have another chance to be lucky. Don't forget - it could be you!

From all of us at the Addlestone Studio... Goodnight!

Poop, Poop!

"Look at that. Over two weeks since he last posted and now, when he finally gets around to it, what does he do? He's only plugging the show he's appearing in, isn't he?"

"What? You're kidding?"

"I'm not. The Wind In The Willows, he says. At the Rhoda McGaw Theatre, Woking, from 29th November to 2nd December at 7.45pm."

"Shameless!"

"I agree. He told me that tickets were £10 full-price and £8 for concessions. As if I'm going to tell anyone else. I'm not Jonathan Ross, I said."

"Disgraceful! Did he tell you where to buy them from as well?"

"Yes, he did. He said to phone the Ottershaw Players box-office on 01932 702091 or the theatre box-office on 01483 545900. He also gave me a bloody great poster to put up."

"I hope you told him where to stick it..."

The Wind In The Willows. Coming soon to a theatre near you. Suitable for boys and girls 5 years and over!!

Blogmeet

I don't think of myself as a blogger. Obviously, I do blog. Once in a while. Though recently it's become once in a week.

But I'm not one of those people who are driven to get something down at least once a day. Sometimes more often.

People like Diamond Geezer. For me, he's the king of bloggers. He has a subject that he (usually) confines himself to. He writes reams of witty, interesting prose, packed with so many links that to visit them all would mean that none of us would get any real work done, ever.

No, I'm not a real blogger.

And, as such, I would never expect to go to a Blog-Meet and swap blogging stories with like-minded bloggers.

So you could knock me down with a feather when I realised that that's exactly what I did yesterday.

OK, to be fair, it was really me and my Lovely Young Wife, plus my sis and her son, Thomas, who were meeting Shorty PJs' MaryB for lunch at the 'delightful' Italian restaurant in Weybridge.

Life stories were swapped, work tales were told and blogging was barely mentioned. It wasn't a blogmeet - only 60% of those present have ever blogged. So I think I've escaped without having to define myself as a blogger - yet... Phew!

Here's MaryB and Jo (in that order) swapping fishing stories!

Arse Gratia Artis

Ooh! $90m knocked off the value of a painting, just like that.

I must say, I know how Steve Wynn must have felt - just not on such a large scale.

When I was about 6 or 7 I accidentally knocked over a vase. The vase was on our TV and the water went down the back of the set. The resulting BANG and plumes of smoke meant no TV for the family for a day or two. And, presumably, no TV for me for a couple of weeks!

Okay, so our TV wasn't a work of art.

So, assuming that Mr Wynn decided to have a career change from Las Vegas property developer to freelance art destroyer, what single work of art would you want him to annihilate?

A Pain In The Arm

I once met a phlebotomist who used to have to perform venipuncture on Mick Jagger.

He said it was like getting blood out of a stone.

Desert Island Dicks

Five people named Richard who I'd happily tolerate on my desert island:

• Richard Feynmann - genius. If he was still alive.
• Richard McKenzie - councillor and old chum. Guaranteed to keep order.
• Dick Barton - Special Agent.
• Rich Hall - funny guy.
• Moby Dick - we either hang on to his tail and he swims us to safety, or we could cook him and eat him.

Who would your Desert Island Dicks be?

Cracking Cheese, Gromit.

Things to do on a Summer Holiday in Wensleydale

1. Rent a lovely little cottage in the gorgeous viilage of Middleham. It's the home of lots of prestigious racing stables so you see many racehorses and those tiny, wee people who ride about on them.

2. Don't go when it's going to rain for a week. It's fantastic countryside, but it would be improved by being dry.

3. Do make sure you go in mid-August so you can see the Kettlewell Scarecrow Festival. We stumbled upon it by accident while driving around and wish we'd had time to stop and take a look at all the superb scarecrow scenes.

4. Don't run out of money only 2 days into your week. It makes it difficult to do anything and the plans for eating in all the posh local restaurants were somewhat scuppered. Not to mention the fear of running out of petrol and being stranded in North Yorkshire.

5. Take your camera. There's lots to see. Middleham Castle was fantastic, as was Bolton Castle. And Fountains Abbey. I'm sure there's more we could have seen but for the weather and the lack of cash.

6. Try the beer. Nearby Masham is home to the Theakstons and Black Sheep Breweries. Tasty!

7. Try the food. A trip to Betty's Tea Rooms in Harrogate is a must, especially for their Yorkshire curd tart. Luvverly. And there are some fantastic restaurants all over North Yorkshire. They're not as cheap as you'd expect though!

8. Walking boots. And a map. Take them and use them - you'll find some fantastic hidden places.

Separated After Birth...

Young scamp Chux recently pointed out the similarity between tap-dancing, skinny, grinning Lionel Blair and antique, perma-bronzed, grinning David Dickinson.

They do appear to be rather similar:


Blair


Dickinson


If only a TV executive could combine the two on their most popular shows. Give Us A Clue and Bargain Hunt rolled into one: C-list celebrities would have to mime a clue describing an antique object d'art and its estimated auction price within a strict time limit.

Imagine the scene as Lionel and David both struggle to pull-off Michaelangelo, with their hands alone, in under 2 minutes...

Teechers In The Middle Of The Road

One reason for my lack of recent Bloggage (have I coined a new word there? Nope!) is the fact that I've been so busy doing dramatic stuff.

For the past couple of months we've been rehearsing 3 separate plays.

I'm stage-managing Teechers, by John Godber. Our lovely friend Clare is directing a gang of 4 talented youngsters for our Youth entry to the Woking Drama Festival. There was a point a week or two ago when it looked a bit touch-and-go as to whether it would all come together in time, but now it looks like the performance this coming Thursday will be a cracker.

I'm also sound designer and operator for The Man In The Middle Of The Road. This is written and directed by Paul Foster who's been with us for a year or so. It's not as light-hearted as Teechers and it features a lead actor who has to perform stark naked for over half the 45-minute play! We'll see how the Surrey theatre-going public cope with that at the Woking Drama Festival on Thursday 12th October.

All this frantic activity means that I haven't been able to give my full attention to The Wind In The Willows, our 'big' show for November. I feel bad about this as I know what it's like, as a director, to have a less-than-complete turnout. Next year I will restrict my activities drastically!

Not Quite "It's A Wonderful Life"

So it appears that slightly camp dancer, Lionel Blair, and screamingly, irritatingly camp 'comedian' Alan Carr have saved a man who was trying to throw himself off Blackpool pier.

Is it only me wondering whether the poor bastard was just trying to get away from those two fools in the first place? He must have had a heart attack when they were the ones that saved him...

Where Have You Been?

You can now add a map of the countries you've visited to your blog or website.

Click my map below to find out more.

Thanks to One Of Those Allans for the link.



create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Hezbollah!

Every year, the 2nd week of August sees two or three hundred amateur drama types heading up to Loughborough University for the annual NODA Summer School.

This year was the 4th time I've been. In previous years I've studied Acting Skills and a directing course (Page To Stage with Ruth Bettesworth) that was enjoyable enough to repeat last year.

This year though I decided to do something different: Theatre Lighting. I'm not much of a "techie" and I certainly quail at having to climb up to the gantry. I usually get half-way up the ladder and then panic and have to be lowered down with ropes and pullies.

The course was most enjoyable. I managed to learn enough that next time I direct a play I'll hopefully be able to make suggestions about the lighting and will be able to understand why some things are impossible (or not!).

The pictures below show one of the 'cameos' that our group put together. We had to devise and light a short scene which used lighting to show a sense of place and the passing of time.




A window pattern on the floor is often achieved using a 'gobo'. This is a metal cutout or template which is placed near the lens of a focusable theatre lantern to achieve a special effect: a window, light dappled through trees, etc. However, in our cameos shown here we decided to use the window built into the scenery like a gobo and simply rigged lights to shine through using different angles and different colours to give the impression of a changing time of day.

Attending the NODA summer school is also a great chance to see old friends from previous years and catch up with what they've been doing since the previous August - usually over a very reasonably proced drink in the student union bar!

Roll-on next year - learning technical skills is all well and good, but I think I missed the performance-related stuff too much.

Why is the title of this piece "hezbollah!"? When you're hanging a light you shout "Heads Below!" to warn anyone standing on the stage. When 2 or 3 of the people on the course come from the north-east, it sounds like "Hezbollah!".

You've Got To Be Crazy...

We spent the weekend entertaining Al from Seattle.

Al is an old friend of my Lovely Young Wife. They met in Moscow. The circumstances aren't fully known to me, but I believe that lots of vodka, a bad covers band and some very scary Russian mafiosi may have been involved.

He runs his own company, GreenBuddy, selling a cool little golf tool. He says he's doing "okay", but I reckon he's a multi-millionaire and just likes slumming it with us regular folks!




We spent part of Sunday in Windsor Great Park. It's pretty and you can see the castle, but my real reason for reproducing the picture above is for Delmonti's comment. Click above to be amused.

On Monday we went looking for a vintage drum shop on Lavendar Hill in London. We ended up parking pretty close to Battersea Power Station. This is one of my favourite London landmarks, and as both Al and I are huge Pink Floyd fans so we explored the area for a while.

When I got home I decided that I had to pay my own tribute to Animals. It's a much under-rated album.



Have I done the album cover justice? I hope to hear from Storm Thorgerson pretty soon, offering me a job...

Will They Have Kids?

Hmmm... A Sudanese man has been forced to marry a goat.

This is an interesting story as it closely mirrors the reasons for my own first marriage.

A Tale of Two Gigs

Half-Moon Unplugged

Off we went to the Half Moon in Putney on Monday night. We were there to see Mike Halliwell and his band - friends of my lovely young wife. Overall an excellent night. It was an acoustic/unplugged night, so there were about 9 bands/artistes of varying styles and calibres.

The room at the Half-Moon is a decent size, probably holds 150 standing and the crowd of about 50 or so were all quiet and respectful to the acts.

Mike Halliwell (along with Matt on bass, Adam on drums and roadie Nick) was very good indeed. They guys try to gig once or twice a month, at least, and they're well worth catching. If you're going to Cameron and Kirsty's wedding next Sunday (and why wouldn't you be?) then you'll hear them.

Another standout act included The Ballinsky Project. A guitar/cello duo. Nathan Ball, the guitarist and singer has a voice reminiscent of Cat Stephens' (that's a good thing, by the way) and their songs were beautiful, yet complex. Thoroughly recommended. I've ordered their CD.

Also worth hearing was Rami. This Bob Dylan/Art Garfunkel lookalike sings with a deep American drawl (think Leon Redbone - I think) but is actually English. Which made me think he was a trifle pretentious for a moment - but after listening to his songs I was converted. An excellent guitarist and an adventurous and amusing lyricist. His last song mixed Dylan with Beck and was a marvellous concoction.

Nizlopi

The next night we went to see Nizlopi at Koko (formerly the Palace Ballroom) in Camden. This was a different kettle of fish and reminded me why I generally don't like going to 'bigger' gigs.

Let's start with the band as that's the most positive. You'll probably have heard of Nizlopi from The JCB Song which was a number 1 single just before Christmas 2005 and also did the rounds via viral emails for a while previously. Their album Half These Songs Are About You is excellent. Agood mixture of folk, rock and gentle hip-hop styles. Of course, a multi-instrumental album is difficult to reproduce when you are a duo (guitar and double-bass), but they opened the show with a real bang. John (bass) is a superb human-beatbox and so the fast, inventive, excellent bass-playing on the first couple of songs was backed by a really good rhythm. And so were the next two tracks, and the next, and the next.

In fact (and this is my main grumble about the music) ALL the tracks they played, bar one, were re-invented as banging hip-hop tunes. Nothing wrong with ringing the changes and rearranging a few tracks - and the new twist worked really well on, say, six or seven of them, at the most. But applying this template to everything was a mistake. A far better choice would have been to employ a drummer who could take a seat for alternate tracks, or for the 2nd half of the set.

[And, while we're moaning about the hip-hop theme... Let me just say that I do really like hip-hop and I don't believe that there's any shame in middle-class white boys playing and writing it. But... When you're a middle-class lad from Leamington Spa (as Luke from Nizlopi is) there's no real excuse to be talking like you're from the 'Hood in Compton or something. Perhaps this was some sort of Ali G style spoof. But if it was, it didn't work. The well-dressed, nicely-spoken black guy standing in front of me told his friend, "blimey! That bloke talks just like my nephew".]

So... The music. Enjoyable-ish. But the whole night was spoiled by:

1. The appalling acoustics in the venue - come on guys, you've just spent a fortune on new decor, a new bar, new marketing, a relaunch. Couldn't you have spent some money on making sure the sound wasn't so muddy and dirty that it was impossible to hear the lyrics or the between-song banter?

2. The fatuous behaviour of the punters - I'm still at a loss to understand why someone would spend decent money to go to see a band and then spend all their time talking and larking about with their mates instead. That would be OK if they did it somewhere at the back of the hall near the bar, but no, they feel the need to disturb the rest of us. And it's not just a few isolated groups. At times it felt like 1/3 of the audience were more interested in their conversations than in the band they'd paid to see. Twats!

Ah, Those Long Summer Days...

What long summer days? August was abysmal. Don't argue, you know it was!

Hello.

Yes, I'm sorry Chuckie, I've been away from here for far too long. Lots to write about, but little time to write in. August saw lots of activity which I will post about over the next week or so. I promise.

So look forward to meanderings about NODA summer school, Wensleydale, my recent birthday and various theatre bits and bobs.

Today's topic of conversation is The Goodwood Revival.

The Revival is a race meeting, held at Goodwood motor racing circuit, near Chichester in Sussex. The circuit is built on the estate of the Earl of March who lives in Goodwood House and also owns Goodwood horse racing course. Lord March owns lots of property. Lots. Vast acres of English countryside.

But he's a good chap because every year he holds two meetings at the motor racing circuit. The Festival of Speed happens early in the summer. I've been a couple of times, but I don't find it that enthralling. Various racing cars charge up a hill course a mile or two long. It's not a circuit, so you see each car once. For about 10 seconds.

No. For me the Revival meeting is much more fun. The Friday is given over to practice laps, each driver trying to set a competitive time; then the races themselves happen on Saturday and Sunday. Each day you'll see around 9 races, plus some parades of cars notable for some reason (this year was a collection of cars raced by US driver Phil Hill in his long, distinguished career).

One of the best parts of the Revival is the fact that everything is done in a vintage style. The circuit closed for 'real' racing in 1966, so all the cars (and the planes and motorbikes - even the course rescue vehicles, fire engines and ambulances) pre-date that year.

The number of people who dress up in period costume is amazing. This year I didn't have time to find something appropriate and I felt out of place even wearing chinos and a shirt and tie.

And although I wasn't dressed in period we certainly arrived in style. I managed to cadge a lift with my friend Alan in his 1953 MG TD roadster (pictured).

But the highlight of any day at the Revival is definitely the racing. The saloon car race is exceptionally good fun. You wouldn't believe that a Mark I Jaguar and an Austin A35 would be neck-and-neck with each other after 12 laps (25 or 26 miles). In previous years I've seen a Morris Minor vying for the lead.

And this year's racing was even better. The Saturday was very overcast and rain fell in showers all day. Which meant the track was damp, but not soaked, all the time. Which, in turn, made the racing even closer and more exciting. And as we had ticket for the Lavant Turn grandstand we stayed dry and saw many cars taking both apexes sideways.

Can't wait until next year!

On This Day In History...

Some things that happened on this day. Most information courtesy of Wikipedia.

Events

79 - Mount Vesuvius erupts. The cities of Pompeii, Herculaneum, and Stabiae are buried in volcanic ash.
• 1215 - Pope Innocent III declares the Magna Carta invalid.
• 1349 - Six thousand Jews are killed in Mainz because they are blamed for the bubonic plague.
• 1456 - The printing of the Gutenberg Bible is completed.
• 1459 - Vlad Tepes (aka Dracula) had 30,000 of the merchants and officials of the Transylvanian city of Bra?ov impaled.
• 1572 - Saint Bartholomew's Day Massacre: On the orders of king Charles IX of France, a massacre of Huguenots (French Protestants) begins.
• 1662 - Act of Uniformity requires England to accept the Book of Common Prayer.
• 1690 - Calcutta, India is founded.
• 1814 - British troops invade Washington, D.C. and burn down the White House and several other buildings.
• 1831 - Charles Darwin is asked to travel on HMS Beagle.
• 1847 - Charlotte Brontë finishes Jane Eyre.
• 1853 - Potato chips are first prepared.
• 1891 - Thomas Edison patents the motion picture camera.
• 1909 - Workers start pouring concrete for the Panama Canal.
• 1912 - Alaska becomes a United States territory.
• 1932 - Amelia Earhart is the first woman to fly across the United States non-stop (from Los Angeles to Newark, New Jersey).
• 1949 - The treaty creating NATO goes into effect.
• 1967 - Led by Abbie Hoffman, a group of hippies temporarily disrupt trading at the NYSE by throwing dollar bills from the viewing gallery, causing a cease in trading as the brokers scramble to grab them up.
• 1968 - France explodes its first hydrogen bomb, thus becoming the world's fifth nuclear power.
• 1971 - Pink Floyd performs their most famous concert, in an abandoned Pompeii amphitheatre on the 1892nd anniversary of the infamous disappearance of Pompeii.
• 1981 - Mark David Chapman is sentenced to 20 years to life in prison for murdering John Lennon.
• 1989 - Voyager 2 passes Neptune.
• 1990 - A judge rules that Judas Priest are not responsible for the deaths of two youths who committed suicide after listening to the band's music.
• 1991 - Mikhail Gorbachev resigns as head of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.
• 1991 - Ukraine declares itself independent from the Soviet Union.
• 1995 - Windows 95, a computer operating system by Microsoft, is released with much fanfare.
• 2004 - Two airliners in Russia, carrying a total of 89 passengers, explode within minutes of each other after flying out of Domodedovo International Airport, near Moscow, leaving no survivors. The explosions were caused by suicide bombers (reportedly female) from the Russian Republic of Chechnya.

Births

• 1552 - Lavinia Fontana, Italian painter (d. 1614)
• 1580 - John Taylor, English poet (d. 1654)
• 1591 - Robert Herrick, English poet (d. 1674)
• 1759 - William Wilberforce, English campaigner against slavery (d. 1833)
• 1787 - James Weddell, Antarctica explorer (d. 1834)
• 1817 - Aleksey Konstantinovich Tolstoy, Russian writer (d. 1875)
• 1872 - Max Beerbohm, British parodist and caricaturist (d. 1956)
• 1897 - Fred Rose, American songwriter and publishing executive (d. 1954)
• 1899 - Jorge Luis Borges, Argentine writer (d. 1986)
• 1934 - Kenny Baker, English actor
• 1936 - A. S. Byatt, English novelist
• 1944 - Jim Capaldi, British drummer, singer, and songwriter (Traffic) (d. 2005)
• 1948 - Kim Sung-Il, Chief of Staff of Republic of Korea Air Force
• 1948 - Jean-Michel Jarre, French musician
• 1957 - Stephen Fry, English comedian, author, and actor
• 1958 - Steve Guttenberg, American actor
• 1966 - Peter Moore, English actor, director and database administrator.
  
• 1988 - Rupert Grint, English actor

Deaths

• 79 - Pliny the Elder, Roman writer and naturalist (b. 23)
• 1680 - Thomas Blood, Irish-born thief of the British crown jewels (b. 1618)
• 1841 - Theodore Edward Hook, English author (b. 1788)
• 1958 - Paul Henry, Northern Irish artist (b. 1876)
• 1967 - Henry J. Kaiser, American industrialist (b. 1882)
• 1978 - Louis Prima, American band leader (b. 1910)
• 1980 - Yootha Joyce, British actress (b. 1927)
• 1990 - Sergei Dovlatov, Russian writer (b. 1941)
• 1991 - Bernard Castro, Italian inventor (b. 1904)
• 1995 - Alfred Eisenstaedt, German-born photographer (b. 1898)
• 1998 - E.G. Marshall, American actor (b. 1910)
• 2003 - Sir Wilfred Thesiger, British explorer (b. 1910)
• 2004 - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Swiss-born psychiatrist (b. 1926)

How Much?

I've been away for two weeks. Obsessively dull details will follow in a day or two.

Just so you know why I haven't been reading/replying/blogging/commenting for a while.

Ciao!

Better Late Than Never

Good Lord, I'm useless. A whole week since I last posted. Trouble is, I have fantastic ideas for a post, but they usually occur to me when I'm driving home from work. I have no way of noting them down while I'm on the move, so 45 minutes later, when I'm back home, I've forgotten what the brilliant idea was!

Yesterday I bought a digital voice recorder. You know - a "Dictaphone"-type thing, though presumably "Dictaphone" is a registered trademark, so I should make it very clear that it was definitely not one of those that I bought.

Anyway, I bought it so that I can record the read-through for our next play. I can then copy the recording to my PC and isolate the sections I'm in and burn the recording to CD; all the better for learning my lines.

So maybe I should carry it around at all times, murmuring into it when an idea occurs to me. But then I have a mental image of Alan Partridge in a Rover and wearing driving gloves ("Idea for a programme entitled 'Yachting Mishaps'. Some funny, some tragic. Presented by that man who was trapped upside-down in his hull eating chocolate.") and it seems very foolish all of a sudden.

Greshams

Greshams,

My lovely young Wife, her lovely Mum and her lovely (but bonkers) Dad.

Taken on my mobile phone in a South London pub. We may have imbibed a beer or four...

Too Darn Hot

That's my excuse for not having posted for 10 days anyway.

What have I been up to in that time?

Working. That hasn't been fun. Our company moved us into 'new' offices in April. So 'new' that they don't have air-conditioning. The interior of the office is usually as hot as it is outside (32 Celsius today, according to a colleagues desk clock/thermometer). Sometimes it's hotter, due to the lack of a breeze and the sun heating up the air behind the windows (most of which don't open). The company bought us fans and spent £8,000 on "air-conditioners" that don't. All of which is a good excuse for wearing t-shirts, shorts and sandals to the office, or for working from home.

Playing. I'm involved with both of Ottershaw Players' entries to this year's Woking Drama Festival. I'm doing sound for The Man In The Middle of the Road and stage managing Teechers. We've also had auditions for November's production of The Wind In The Willows - great fun! I think I'd like to play Ratty. But that's also got most lines, so I'm hoping for something smaller. On Monday I had a day at the British All-Winners Drama Festival. I was mentoring one of the competing groups Cytringan Players, so I spent the day helping them get unloaded and directing them to the right shops to buy props and set materials that they needed.

Dredged Up

A trivial conversation at a barbecue yesterday had me recalling a snippet of a singalong-type song from my youth.

I hadn't heard it for, oh, at least 30 years, but the lyrics (to the last verse) came back to me with no problem at all:

Oh, the nauseating witches who put scinitllating stitches in the breeches
Of the boys who put the powder on the noses of the ladies
Of the court of King Caractacus,
Are just passing by.

How does that happen? I'm sure Marcel Proust had something to say on the subject.

I recall that the song was on a Rolf Harris album. I'll have to search it out to see how wide of the mark I am...

Update:

Well, I was close. Apparently the ladies are from the Harem of the Court of King Caractacus. And the Witches were "fascinating" rather than "nauseating". If you're at all bothered, you can read the lyrics here.

No sign of a free MP3 link to the song. Which is a shame 'cos it was a corker!

Why Wikipedia Is Great

Wikipedia. If you never visited before, why not?

It made the news last year because various academics dismissed it as being biased and inaccurate, only for their research to show that the same accusations could be levelled at such august bodies of knowledge as Encyclopedia Britannica too.

But, let's face it, the reason Wikipedia is so good is for the sheer depth and range of its articles.

Here are my 3 favourite Wikipedia entries - in traditional reverse order:

• Surrey (because I like reading about my locality)
• BBC TV Drama (because it was great and could be again)
• Mike The Headless Chicken (because it's a bit odd)

What are yours?

Oddities

I see that the French, those wacky irony-free funsters, have opened a swimming pool that floats on the River Seine.

Whatever next? Dry-slope skiing in the Antarctic?

All Change! Again!

Somehow Blogger managed to mangle my template. Luckily I'd saved all my buttons and stuff when I last changed, so I switched to a simpler template. Sorry for the confusion.

Chilworth

On Sunday my Lovely Young Wife and I went for a walk on the North Downs.

We started and finished at the Percy Arms in Chilworth. It's a bit of a chain pub and doesn't have much to recommend it. Least of all the terrifying price of their ale (£3 a pint!). What was interesting was the fact that they seemed to have more staff than punters and they (the staff) all sounded South African. Very strange.

We headed off through some pleasant woodland and crossed the river Tillingbourne before heading uphill and across open fields for about 1.5 miles. As this was the hottest day of the year so far, we were glad when we came to a shady tree.

After the farmland the path headed past Chantry Woods.

[What is a Chantry? There's a shopping centre of that name in Andover, near my office.]

The path headed inexorably up the downs - you've got to love the English language. Where else would high ground be called 'downs' - and we followed the North Downs Way to its high point at St. Martha's church.



There's been a church on this site for around 1,000 years, but this building dates back to the 18th Century. It's a bit remote and one wonders if they have much of a congregation on Sunday mornings, but the church's primary function was originally as a stop-off for the devout walking the Pilgrims Way from Winchester to Canterbury.

A very steep path then leads down from the church, for around a mile through more farmland, to the derelict and overgrown Chilworth Gunpowder Mills.



The mills are a fascinating place. Gunpowder was manufactured here for over 300 years until the workings closed in the 1920s. For most of that time they were one the most important industrial chemical works in the country. It's odd seeing them now, around 80 years later. Where once explosives were made, hikers now walk. And the canals, rather than carrying barges of saltpetre and charcoal are now full of laughing, splashing children and fathers building dams from discarded stonework, their trousers rolled up to their knees.

One scary indication of the size of the mill is that one accidental explosion caused the demolition of the tower of St. Martha's Church. A mile away and a couple of hundred feet higher up the downs!



Nowadays all that remains are some derelict buildings, some watercourses (some in use, some dry) and many large, heavy millstones. The ones in the picture were about 4 or 5 feet in diameter.

I took a few pictures, as you can see here, but there are far more and far better to be found on Flickr.

A Blessing. And A Curse.

Monk. What a great TV show.

If you haven't seen it, then I urge you to. It's up there with Columbo as one of the more intelligent TV cop/detective shows.

Adrian Monk is different because he has multiple phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders and autistic symptoms which plague his life, but which make him uniquely able to solve cases that have the regular police stumped.






I think we all have bizarre behaviour like this sometimes. Mostly it's harmless.

For example, when I'm hanging out the washing I always have to use matching pegs. It doesn't feel right unless each item of clothing has pegs of the same colour. Or if they're wooden pegs, they have to be pairs of old ones, or new ones.

It's odd. But not a problem.

I'm pretty sure that it's the only 'compulsive' quirk that I have. Do you have any?

Goggle-Eyes

Why does watching TV have such a bad press from various 'intellectuals'?

Various people who decide that they are to be our arbiters of good taste and excellence in culture deem that watching telly is a "bad thing".

One of the problems I have with these people is the fact that the alternatives they come up with are usually no better than TV anyway. Let's face it, the alternatives to TV that these snobs come up with always involve theatre, opera or art galleries, for some reason.

Now, I love the theatre, as you probably know. Can't stand opera, but that's just me and I don't condemn those who do enjoy and understand it. But I really can't understand those stuck-up people who seem to insist that, somehow, "live" art-forms are better than television.

"Sitting in front of the TV for hours on end without moving rots your mind". Yet, these people don't mind going to the theatre to watch an interminable Wagner opera (which consists of sitting down for hours on end to watch the show, but you can't get up and get yourself a drink when you like - only at the interval, when Herr Wagner says you can finally move).

"TV is just mindless pap". Oh, and I suppose that no-one ever wrote a book that was mindless pap, or a play, or a film, or a musical (Andrew Lloyd-Webber, anyone?). And, I'm sorry, 90% of the modern art I've seen IS rubbish. A con-trick.

"TV is a one-way process. A passive medium. The viewer isn't engaged by it". Huh? I'm sorry, but when was the last time you went to the theatre or the opera or an art gallery and started interacting with the actors, or with the canvas. If you did that they'd throw you out of the place or have you committed.

I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Sure, there is a lot of mindless pap on TV that should never have been made. But there is also a lot of fantastic drama, comedy, documentary and uncategorisable stuff that anyone should watch and be edified by.

Don't tell me that Run For Your Wife is funnier than Seinfeld.

I don't believe that Cats is better than the Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode Once More With Feeling.

Do you seriously expect me to believe that Tracy Emin's My Bed has more artistic value than Twin Peaks?

Bereft

What are we going to do today? What are we going to do tomorrow?

I'm talking about the football, of course. For the first time since 9th June, there's no World Cup footie on the telly!

But I've got into a routine (go to work; talk about yesterday's matches with the guys; sneak into the break room to watch as much of the afternoon match as possible; go home; have tea; watch the evening game; go to bed; repeat) and for the next 2 days I will feel a little lost. I guess that my Lovely Young Wife and I will have to catch up on all the stuff we've been saving up on Sky+ for the past 3 weeks. She's got about 12 hours of Eastenders to trawl through. And we've still got to catch the last episode of Prison Break and the last couple of Lost.

[Does my life revolve around TV? Yes. It does. It has done since c. 1975 and it will do for a long, long time to come.]

OK, so we only need to wait until 4pm on Friday and it all starts up again with Germany v. Argentina. 2 days of Quarter-Final action. Then there's another break until Tuesday and Wednesday (Semi-Finals). Then another break until next weekend: The Runners-Up match and the Final.

By which time excitement will either be at a hysterical fever pitch (if England manage to get that far) or the country will be plunged into a pall of gloom (er, let's face it, this is the more realistic outcome).

Though heaven knows how we're going to cope when it's finally finished. What will we do for the long six weeks until the football season proper starts up again?

What Would YOU Do?

I would love to be able to jack in my current job and do something else.

I've worked in the IT industry since 1988 and I'm fed up with it. Partly because I haven't really progressed much. Oh, my salary is handsome enough, but I've been doing more or less the same job for almost 20 years.

Friends and colleagues over this time have moved on to new and exciting challenges every 2 or 3 years - accumulating responsibility or new skills or moving into completely new arenas as opportunities are presented to them.

Somehow, though, those opportunities have passed me by and now I'm sick of doing the job I do.

My main reason for being unable to move is, unfortunately, debt.

For one reason and another, at the time of life that many people have almost paid off their mortgages, I find myself badly in debt and still renting. Don't get me wrong; some of the blame is definitely mine. But through a combination of bad-luck and bad-judgement I find myself wishing, most days, that the National Lottery will provide a way out.

Of course, being in-debt means that I need as much salary as possible, so I stay in my current career, because I know that a change in career will mean a huge drop in income, at least for a few years until I prove my worth in that new job.

So - for now I am unable to contemplate a move to my "dream job". Which is good because, ironically, I don't really know what that perfect job is - but here are my current thoughts on what I'd really like to do with my life:

• Theatre Director.
• Something in Graphic Design - because I really enjoy designing the posters, flyers and programmes for our shows - though my drawing skills are rubbish.
• Film, Video or Sound Editor.

So - unless you fancy offering me a job doing one of these things on my current salary, maybe you'd better tell me YOUR dream job instead?

Pass the Ointment

Hooray. Dave, Sally and I finished the London 2 Brighton Bike Ride.

We each raised a ton of money - so thanks to everyone who contributed. If you haven't done so yet, you can do so here!

According to my bike's computer (yes, I'm that much of a geek) we covered the 54 miles in around five-and-a-half hours of cycling time, at an average speed of around 9.5 m.p.h. Although, what with stopping to take on water, sun-cream, burgers and lemon-curd sandwiches at regular intervals it actually took us more like 9 hours to do the journey.

[The overall time wasn't helped by the fact that we were moving very slowly, then stationary for about 30 minutes, due to a multiple pile-up requiring the presence of at least 2 ambulances. I hope those involved weren't too badly hurt.]

The lovely Mr Estall has contributed some fine words about the journey on his blog. And I've posted some pictures yesterday, during the event - I was too knackered to take many - plus a few more that I took in Brighton today while I recuperated (and My Lovely Young Wife browsed the many shoe shops and jewellers that the town has to offer). They're all in my London 2 Brighton Set on Flickr.

L2b ditchling

L2b ditchling,
originally uploaded by PTMoore.

47 miles into the London 2 Brighton ride and the slightest incline induces us (well, Sally and I) to get off and push. So you can imagine our trepidation at the thought of the 1.5 mile, 1:8 climb up Ditchling Beacon.

Mind you, Dave rode up the whole way - well done Dave - so I bought him an ice cream at the top!

L2b before

L2b before,
originally uploaded by PTMoore.

It's 8.30 am and we're waiting to start the London 2 Brighton Bike Ride at Clapham Common. Sally's cheerful enough - but Dave's grumpy. Even though he's just had a burger and a cuppa!

Braaaazil

The sight of Brazil's portly, lethargic, what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here?, buck-toothed striker in the game with Croatia gave My Lovely Young Wife and I some food for thought yesterday.

Was his lardy disposition caused by eating too many burgers? And if so, were they sold by a sinister looking clown called Ronaldo McDonaldinho?

"Go..."

"...And never darken my towels again" - Groucho Marx.

My Dad got me an Insult-A-Day calendar for Christmas. I thought it was going to be fantastic. A new word each day to use to insult some of my more cerebrally-challenged moog-like colleagues. Words like "twunt", "munger" and "spoon".

Instead it's full of witty epithets from the likes of Groucho, Dorothy Parker, WC Fields and Henry Youngman (who?).

Some of the insults though are crap. Not ineffectual or vapid. Just crap.

The worst I've come across was yesterday's. Not only was it rubbish as an insult, it could also be taken as a huge compliment. Which is a bit bad when you're trying to insult someone. Here it is now:

What can I say about Hilary Clinton? She is as honest as the day is long... in Antarctica!
-- Joan Rivers

Obviously the joke depends on knowing that the days in Antarctica are very short during the southern hemisphere winter. But during the summer, the days are very long indeed. So it doesn't work as an insult. It's rubbish.

You know - thinking about it, I'm quite concerned that I got so worked up about this. But it's got me back into the blogging saddle after a couple of weeks of inaction.

Quiet, isn't it?

After this week the run of Habeas Corpus will be over and I can get back to posting regularly here.

In the meantime, because I am so vain, I thought I would collect any reviews for the show in this post. I'm also posting them on my other blog, but as that one will be mothballed soon, I wanted to have them here for posterity too.

First review is in already. Of course, it might be the only review, but in case it isn't I'll add any new ones here as and when I see them.

Thanks to the lovely (but probably biased) Clare at Adventures in Amateur Dramatics for this lovely review.

Dave 'Delmonti' over at the Lobster had this to say.

Thanks to the fragrant Sandy Hurle for this contribution:

It was certainly not an amateur show! 'Twas thoroughly professional in all respects.

All members of the cast were entirely believable ... timing was good ... the script was learnt brilliantly with no missed lines (... none that I spotted anyway) and the set was stunning.

My only small criticism is that perhaps the ladies of the cast could have removed a few more items of clothing. (Just a personal, totally objective view ...).

NO, THE SHOW WAS BRILLIANT!*! WELL DONE TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU INVOLVED (Inc. The Director ... whoever that might be!).

If you're a masochist, you can also see many, many pictures of the show at Ian Olsson's website.

The report is also in from our NODA rep. It's too long to reproduce here, but you can see it over on the Habeas Corpus blog.

Lately, In Brief

Work.

Bikes.

Sleep.

Habeas.

Food.

That's all!